It’s All About Feeling Better

My program is different than others.
More realistic I’d like to believe.
It don’t make these ridiculous statements,
staking goals you will never achieve.

What I promise is you will feel better.
Get to know yourself inside and out.
What it is keeping you ticking.
What your physical structure’s about.

I will teach you to breathe while relaxing,
while commercials are used for this cue.
‘Stead of all their imposing anxiety ploys,
this will give you something healthy to do.

I will keep your hands moving and busy.
You will not have the time for a smoke.
While you drink down those glasses of water,
‘stead of pounding that beer or that Coke.

I will teach you to stretch out your muscles,
to know what each one is and does.
I will teach you about natural hormones
that will give you a natural buzz.

I will teach you to strengthen those muscles.
To tighten those abs and that butt.
I’ll help you to lose a few inches
while enhancing your T.V. viewing rut.

I’ll teach martial arts from each style,
in case that you need it some day.
I’ll teach you to kick!  How to block and to punch!
Self-defense in a different way.

Most of all I will help you feel better.
Bring positive thoughts to your mind.
Bring hope to a soul that is finding their hope
which is out there but nowhere to find.

I’ll teach all these things to you quickly.
You take from it just what you will.
Once you have a few things that you truly enjoy,
add some more ‘til you’ve gotten your fill.

You won’t have to miss your soaps ever.
Nor pass on enjoying the news.
Instead you are killing two birds with one stone,
so sit back and kick off your shoes.

Sit back in your favorite recliner.
Tune in to your favorite show.
No hurry to start!  No deadline to meet!
Take it easy and likewise go slow.

Work into it as it attracts you.
Do the exercises that you like best.
Enjoy what it is you are doing.
You can work hard or else you can rest.

The point is you’re going to feel better.
I give you that promise from me.
You do what I tell you to practice,
you’ll feel better, I do guarantee.

Prepare for a whole new adventure.
Couch Potato Karate’s the name.
T.V.’s going to change for the better.
You never will watch it the same.